Cat Scan

Cats are evil bastards, aren’t they? Dogs love humans so much they’ve now developed the ability to smell cancer in their owners. How amazing is that!

As soon as the cats got wind of this one though they quickly held one of their shady meetings. Across the smokey table the cats looked at each other perplexed, what to do, what to do?

Then in a moment of pure evil genius the most despicable cat in attendance; “Tiddles” exclaims, “We’ll build our own fucking cancer sniffing machine!”.  “But we can't build things, we don’t even have opposable thumbs, ours are half way up our arms for Christ sake!” come the protests.

“No, no, no, don’t you see we don’t have to build anything” Tiddles encourages, “we just get a load of dogs and shove them into a big tumble dryer type thing”. “That way the owners still get their cancer found and the dogs get tortured the whole time!”

The assembled cats begin to cackle as the plan is realised in each of their nasty minds, “Mwahahahaahhaha”

Then they bugger off for a walk or something.