So the thing I never understand about alien abduction is the whole "They Anal probed me!" bit. My personal opinion is that Bubba or who ever actually had himself more of a homosexual encounter that night he drove out into the desert in his pick up. Waking in the morning with a thumping headache, and tender denial, his first explanation is of course aliens, yes aliens, that's what happened, not man love, no defiantly not.
The story goes something like this "Me and my biker buddies were drinking heavily in Shithole, USA. On my way home I was abducted by aliens and they analy probed me to discover the secrets of humanity, information which is apparently stored in your arse!?".
What do the aliens know about arseholes that we don't? Surely an advanced civilization with the technology to traverse space would see the advantages of developing a "Brain Probe" instead. Probing someones brain might yield more valuable information from a human being then if they have a high fiber diet or not.
Maybe it's the aliens that are the repressed ones.
"So, J-Rod, what have we learned about the humans from our last reccy to their homeworld? Now this better be good, all these missions to earth are really draining our space programme, money which we really should be spending on new Martian schools and hospitals"
"Ooh, well our last mission was a great success, we beamed a subject up to the space craft, gave him a good stiff anal probing and then kinda let him go"
"Excellent work J-Rod. Though maybe next time you should start with some gentle rimming before progressing to the lovingly administered probing"
"Yes Sir!".
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